Family Guy - Episode Guide

Episodes » Season 5
Tot. Ep. # Title Original Airdate Production Code Media
81 501 Stewie Loves Lois September 10, 2006 4ACX32 Links (1)

After Lois fixes Stewie's teddy bear Rupert after he is nearly torn to shreds, Stewie takes an obsessive liking to his mother, though Lois eventually gets sick of all his love and attention. Meanwhile, Peter undergoes a prostate exam and is convinced that he was molested by his doctor.

82 502 Mother Tucker September 17, 2006 4ACX31 Links (1)

Peter's mother Thelma announces that she is getting a divorce, and Peter feels abandoned. However, he soon finds a father figure in her new boyfriend Tom Tucker and begins acting like a child again. Meanwhile, Brian gets his own radio show and Stewie can't help but stir things up.

83 503 Hell Comes to Quahog September 24, 2006 4ACX33 Links (1)

After Peter blows all of Meg's car money on a military tank for himself, Meg gets a job at a Wal-Mart-like supermarket, which uses up most of the town's energy and puts other stores out of business. Brian and Stewie eventually take matters into their own hands to save the town from the corporate giant.

84 504 Saving Private Brian November 5, 2006 4ACX34 Links (1)

When Brian tries to give the Army a piece of his mind for trying to recruit Chris, Stewie tags along and gets them enlisted. After making it through boot camp, they are shipped to Iraq and do anything to get an honorable discharge. Meanwhile, Chris joins a goth rock band.

85 505 Whistle While Your Wife Works November 12, 2006 4ACX35 Links (1)

Peter severely injures his hand and is told he needs to pick up the pace at work, so Lois goes to the brewery to help him catch up. Meanwhile, Stewie discovers that Brian's new girlfriend, Jillian, is a sexy yet completely airheaded blonde, and tries to convince him to break up with her.

86 506 Prick Up Your Ears November 19, 2006 5ACX01 Links (1)

Lois volunteers to teach sex-ed class at Chris and Meg's school, but her brutal honest approach has her replaced by a church spokesman. Meg and her new boyfriend end up taking an abstinence pledge but still manage to find an interesting loophole. Meanwhile, Stewie tries to destroy the Tooth Fairy.

87 507 Chick Cancer November 26, 2006 5ACX02 Links (1)

Stewie ties the knot with his old friend Olivia, but their relationship quickly turns into a traditional marriage full of resentment and bickering, escalating when they go on a double date with Brian and Jillian. Meanwhile, Peter is inspired to make an independent chick flick.

88 508 Barely Legal December 17, 2006 5ACX03 Links (3)

Brian volunteers to go to the school dance with Meg when she can't find a date where he gets drunk to ease the pain and makes out with her. As a result, Meg begins to think of Brian as her new boyfriend, and quickly grows obsessed with him. Meanwhile, Peter, Cleveland and Quagmire join the police force.

89 509 Road to Rupert January 28, 2007 5ACX04 Links (2)

Brian accidentally sells Stewie's teddy bear Rupert at a garage sale. This, of course, upsets Stewie, so Brian takes him on another cross-country road trip, this time to Aspen, Colorado to find Rupert. Meanwhile, Peter's licence is suspended and Meg becomes his personal chauffeur.

90 510 Peter's Two Dads February 11, 2007 5ACX05 Links (1)

When the late Francis Griffin is revealed not to be Peter's father, Peter learns from his mother that his real father is a town drunk in Ireland, so he and Brian go there to find the man and prove his paternity. Meanwhile, Stewie discovers that he likes getting abused by Lois when he gets into trouble.

91 511 The Tan Aquatic with Steve Zissou February 18, 2007 5ACX06 Links (1)

Peter beats up a bully who's been harassing Chris, but finds that bullying is so much fun he becomes a bully himself. Meanwhile, Stewie becomes obsessed with getting a tan until he getts a nasty sunburn and fears he's developed skin cancer, so he drives Brian crazy with "final requests".

92 512 Airport '07 March 4, 2007 5ACX08 Links (2)

Peter messes things up at the airport and causes Quagmire to lose his job as an airline pilot. After failing to find another career, Quagmire must rely on Peter, Cleveland and Joe's scheme to get his old job back.

93 513 Bill and Peter's Bogus Journey March 11, 2007 5ACX07 Links (1)

Peter befriends Bill Clinton, even though Lois thinks he is a bad influence. But when she tries to break off their relationship, she ends up having sex with Clinton instead. Peter is devastated, so Lois tries to convince him to even the score. Meanwhile, Brian tries to potty-train himself with guidance from Stewie.

94 514 No Meals on Wheels March 25, 2007 5ACX09 Links (2)

The Griffins open a restaurant and have trouble attracting customers, so Joe offers to bring some of his friends in to help with business. At first, Peter assumes they are all police officers, but when he finds out they all have disabilities, Peter tries to keep them out of the restaurant.

95 515 Boys Do Cry April 29, 2007 5ACX10 Links (1)

When Lois gets a new job as a church organist the family start attending services, where Stewie gets sick on Communion wine. The congregation believes that he's possessed, so the Griffins are forced to move to Texas, where they begin to fit in quite nicely while they wait for things to settle down at home.

96 516 No Chris Left Behind May 6, 2007 5ACX11 Links (1)

Chris gets expelled from school for being the dumbest student. Trying to help the situation, Carter Pewterschmidt gets him accepted into a classy boarding school where he has trouble fitting in. Meanwhile, the Giant Chicken returns for round three with Peter.

97 517 It Takes a Village Idiot, and I Married One May 13, 2007 5ACX12 Links (1)

Lois runs for Mayor of Quahog against Adam West, but the only way she can get people to listen to her is to dumb down her plans to make Quahog a better place. But when she secures the nomination and is elected, it's not long before she succumbs to her power.

98 518 Meet the Quagmires May 20, 2007 5ACX13 Links (2)

Death grants Peter's wish of going back in time to be 18 again for one night so that he can sow his wild oats, but ends up bailing out on a date with Lois. But when he discovers that, back in the present, he's married to Molly Ringwald and Lois to Quagmire, he must set things right in the past.